Things that bug me- Part I

So I changed the blog name, still working out the kinks, have patience with the newbie please. I now present you with a post that I could continue ad infinitum. I will break it up into chunks so as not to overwhelm…Things that bug me (part I).

I was not a business major so I don’t know the official term for this. I’m going to call it over-marketing. I first noticed over-marketing earlier this summer around the time Cars 2 was released. Seems like an innocent enough kids movie, right? WRONG! This movie has actually become a type of torture device which nearly prevents me from being able to go out in public with my 2-year-old. Really it is not the movie itself that is the true source of terror, rather the products that are emblazoned with the main characters’ likenesses.

OK, Mater is sweet and all. And thinking of Owen Wilson with his cute lil’ crooked nose hiding behind McQueen’s cool-guy exterior is kinda hot. But it is simply not necessary to see their car-faces on everything from cereal bars to juice boxes to paper towels to body wash to balloons half the size of New Mexico!

Do the demons behind this nonsense not have children? Do they realize what impact their nearly criminal actions have on innocent parents trying to get a bit of grocery shopping done? The average Publix trip goes something like this:

Aisle 1: “Cars, Cars, CARS MOMMY!!!!” (Here’s where the mild glances from strangers begin. To cope, I grab whatever the kid is pointing out simply to hush him up).

Aisle 2: “CARS MOMMY!! Tow-Mater! Juice! Need juice!” (Needed juice boxes anyway so pay the extra $1 for the privilege of making eye contact with Mater every time I open the fridge).

Aisle 3: “McQueen! Mater! McQueen! Mater! Mommy, look!! Cereal!!” (I don’t even think this child eats, maybe this will do the trick?).

Aisle 4: “MOMMY! IT”S MATER AND McQUEEN!!” (This is getting old quick. My reaction at this point? “No shit, kid.”)

And so it continues until check-out at which point I am forced to pull out my Superhero-like powers. Thank heavens 2-year-olds are more distractable than Charlie Sheen at a strip club. Once I say the magic word “gum” and then produce my boy’s chewable form of crack cocaine, he doesn’t even notice as I empty half the cart of Cars-emblazoned products on the floor behind the register.

I’m guessing the cashier did, though…Sorry! I promise I’ll try to get a different cashier next week.

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At what age does it become unacceptable to poop in the tub?

5 months? 5 years? It’s never really acceptable?

Probably the last choice is the most true, but that is a point that seems to have been lost on my 2 year old son, Baylor.

Some time had passed since our last, ahem, incident. Did I hope that this stage was over? That would be putting it mildly.   And although cleaning poop from the tub could not ever be considered pleasant, it is certainly more tolerable when said poop was deposited there by a young baby. Not so fun when provided by a seemingly intelligent 2-year-old! I mean, a 2-year-old can kinda speak! Maybe even be able to tell you what just happened in the tub before you even spot the tell-tale evidence. When you hear the words, “I poop in tub,” your initial reaction may be to rub your ears and hope that you heard incorrectly. But once you’ve spotted the goods, you know that you will just have to accept the fact that you are going to reek of Clorox for the rest of the night.

And if you’re wondering about my child’s unusual…fine, call it weird, name… It has nothing to do with Baylor University in Texas. Like, seriously? Do you really think I would name my kid after a school I never even attended? Oh, no. MY child was named after a character in a novel…Ok, fine, call it a book…Ok, fine, you might even consider it to be a “light read.” So what book had a character name I deemed special enough to bestow upon a living human being? The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. That’s right, laugh if you need to.

Moving on, I’d like to send a big shout out to my whopping 3 subscribers (all are McGinty’s-represent!). I’d like to thank y’all for being here even though my blog’s appearance is a bit, um, plain… Had I let my perfectionist streak take control and actually make my blog “pretty” before I wrote something, I likely never would have posted anything at all.

And now completely changing subjects yet again and without further adieu, my most famous recipe:

Kristy’s Famous Black Bean Salad Recipe

3 (15oz) cans black beans, rinsed and drained

1 small package pre-chopped green pepper (let’s try to make this easy peeps)

1 bag pre-chopped green cabbage

4 green onions, chopped

4-6 oz crumbled feta cheese (everything’s betta’ with feta)

1/2 cup chopped basil leaves

2-4 cloves garlic, minced

8oz fresh lime juice

1/4 cup olive oil

S&P

Combine all ingredients in a bowl with lid, shaky-shaky, refrigerate and BAM!

**Do I realize how inappropriate/weird/gross it is to include a recipe on a post about poop?! Sure, but if you ever come to a party at my house, you may just skip the black bean salad next time.  And that means more for me!