Fingernails and the fridge fiasco

As I was scooping my sweet toddler out of his crib after a nap the other day, I saw him pulling at a thin piece of fingernail that was dangling from the tip of his finger. Being that I am kind-hearted and all, I wanted to help him avoid a painful hangnail by picking at it. So I popped his finger into my mouth to bite off the irksome dangly fingernail…Only it wasn’t a fingernail at all. Yup! You guessed it. It was actually a booger. Have I ever mentioned how much I loveeee being a mom?!

So after I finished enjoying my booger snack, I got on the phone with Lowe’s for the 13th time this week regarding the new refrigerator I purchased. It seems that our old fridge “Freezy” decided she could no longer keep up with the amount of ice that our family demands in order to keep the frozen drinks frosty around the clock. And after a few months of buying a bag of ice on a near-daily basis, I did the math and figured out that in the long run it would end up being cheaper to spring for a new fridge. (Here you may wonder why we didn’t just buy a few ice trays and do it old-school style? I kid you not when I say that the thought never crossed my mind until my mom suggested it. Of course this was after we had already bought the new fridge.) So a week ago, we started shopping for a new fridge.

It seems I have been very naïve for the last 33 years or so. See, I stupidly assumed that a fridge is a fridge is a fridge, right? Wrong. All I wanted was a white side-by-side ice box. And one of Cruggers friends works at Lowe’s and said he had just the right fridge for us. And because of a few scratches on the side, it was marked down 1/2 price. Sold! I got the model number, did a bit of research, and then placed the order over the telephone, sight unseen. Our new beauty was to be delivered the next day.

I should have known she was trouble from the moment she came in the door. The delivery guy actually had to remove the door from the hinges to get her through. And I thought I was getting a Frigidare but what I really got was a headache. The fridge that was delivered was a Samsung. Do they even make kitchen appliances? Does it have a television built into the side or something? I don’t know. But what I do know is that we plugged in our new fridge, waited the requisite 24 hours, and opened the door with our hats and muffs on, just waiting for the arctic blast that was sure to erupt from within. But it didn’t…At all. This Samsung was filled to the top with nothing but hot air. She earned the nickname “Scam-sung” on the spot.

When I called Lowe’s, the reaction I got was basically this: It was marked down 1/2 price, what did you expect? Hmmm…Well, for almost $600 I expected a bit more than a huge empty hot box to sit in the corner of my kitchen displaying the mediocre artwork of small children. Several days later they sent a guy out to fix it. Crug laughed at me when I got a bit scared by the man who did work involving flames and black smoke on the back of the refrigerator. Apparently he was soldering some parts back together? This spooked me. I wouldn’t buy a car with random parts fired together by a man wearing an apron. And I don’t want this in my Scam-sung either! But apron-man did get Scammy running again. And I tried to get past the images in my head of fireballs shooting through the water-dispenser. I swear I did.

The next day I went to clean out ol’ Freezy in the garage.  Although Scammy was a bit larger on the outside than Freezy, she had less storage space on the inside. Kinda like a gastric bypass patient immediately after surgery. I had to throw away about 1/3 of Freezy’s contents (even sacrificing my 6-1/2-year-old wedding cake!) in order to make everything fit into Scammy. Now I was really starting to hate this Scam-sung. As I scrubbed away at Freezy to prepare her for a hot Craigslist ad, I started to realize just how beautiful she still was. Once I cleaned out all the lettuce scraps and moldy dead-vegetable liquid, she was sparkling like new. And I felt like I was breaking up with her because my parents forced me to or something. I just didn’t want to let her go. So I was feeling all bummy and decided to go inside to get a water and reflect on my relationship with sweet Freezy. I sadly brought my cup over to Scammy for a fill of ice, and…what? No ice?!

It seems the sluggish icemaker situation is being caused by some drama going on with the filtered water outlet. Freezy was never to blame in the first place! Giddy does not begin to describe my mood. I was still within my 7 day return period on the Scam-sung so I could kick her to the curb, no questions asked. Best of all, I wouldn’t have to leave my sweetie, after all. Freezy stays. Peace out, Scammy!


4 thoughts on “Fingernails and the fridge fiasco

  1. I’m glad you can get your money back for Scammy. It’s bad news when it’s broken right off the bat! We made the mistake of swapping our appliances sheerly for vanity and I miss my Maytag. It was HUGE and reliable. The GE stainless steel fridge needed $180 of work last month and it’s only 2 years old. WTF?

    Not much I can say about the booger eating… you know me and germs… I probably would have drunk peroxide.. or vodka… no, probably peroxide because I’m sick like that.

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