“Get your drag queen ass up and come talk to me”

Prior to dating my husband, Craig AKA Crug/Cruggers, we were neighbors and hung out occasionally. During this time ol’ Cruggers was “dating” (and I use this term very loosely) four different girls. He tells me that this was not always the case for him, he was just “on a roll.” One of these lucky gals was named Stacy. She was nicknamed “Comedy” because Crug met her at the local comedy club, The Comedy Zone. Apparently she collected tickets at the door and let him and a few of his friends in for free. Little did she realize she would be the one to pay in the long run…

Cruggers and Comedy enjoyed a few “dates” and soon enough this girl was hooked on him like a fat kid on cake. Of course the old man had already lost interest by this point. Having already scored the winning goal, he was done playing the game. My husband is a very kind man but he could not ever be considered “virtuous.”  OK, let’s just call a spade a spade-he was a total man slut. And because the “relationship” with Comedy was so short-lived, Crug thought that the appropriate way to end it would be to simply stop all communication with his gal pal. This did not sit very well with her.

Cut to a few weeks later, the night of February 23, 2003. Cruggers had a few friends over at his apartment to hang out, and me and my BFF decided to join them. We were chilling out, having drinks and laughing when the phone rang…it was Comedy. Crug was getting irritated by the incessant stalker-like phone calls and decided to man up. He answered and made up a story that he had gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend. Comedy was angry when he told her that they would no longer be able to maintain their “relationship.” Her reply? “I’m coming over right now,” followed by a click. (Actually the call was on a cell phone so there was no actual click but you know what I mean, guys!)

There was now a sense of excitement and frenzy in Crug’s apartment. We were all eager to see the showdown that was about to begin. And I’m not sure exactly where the idea came from, but the next thing you know we were turning Cruggers into a drag queen. Makeup was hurriedly applied. He slipped into my size-4 denim skirt (this was many years ago, remember) and donned a cut-off Motley Crue shirt resting just above his belly button. Oh, and cowboy boots, too! Our stomachs were tingling as we waited for the knock at the door.

Knock-knock. The door was opened and Comedy got a glimpse of her dreamboat in his natural habitat. “Get your drag queen ass up and come talk to me,” she growled. The two of them then went into his bedroom privately. Although all of the other guests were holding cups up to the door to try and hear what was being said, we really didn’t hear much. The only part we all heard clearly was when Cruggers explained to Comedy that being a drag queen was simply who he really was. He asked her if she could accept it. Her reply, “I think I can.”

After spending some time reflecting on this, Comedy must have had a change of heart. The phone calls and stalking came to an end and all was calm again in the neighborhood…Several months later we ran into Comedy at Target. She was there with a friend. Once she spotted her drag queen-ex she started cracking up hysterically. I am thankful she got to the point of laughing about what must have been a traumatizing moment in her life. Hopefully we all can get a laugh out of this story. And please remember, you never know what your neighbors do behind their own closed doors!

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